Tales From The Land of Tigers: 2020

Decemberland

07:54

In the year 2011 B.C. (before covid), I started my very first journal. I could've gone digital at the time, but I thought that if everything was hand-written, it'd be more personal. I could draw, I could change the font willy-nilly. And above all, it'd just be cooler to hold a physical piece of time in your hands.

I was 12 back then. And the world was very very different. At least, my world was different. Being 21 now, I realised that the world is always the same. As the adage goes, "history repeats itself". There'll always be controversy, struggle, tears, and celebration, achievements, and laughter. The difference is whether you perceive the former more than the latter, or vice versa. God when did I become such an academic doofus in my writing.

I mean looking back, I used to write every meticulous detail using words like frickin or holy shinx (as in the Pokémon). My entries were always headed by a title, the date and time, the chapter number and just a super long description of why I like pizza or something.

Look at me now, justifying paragraphs and stuff.

But yeah reader, as you probably notice in my blog I haven't written in a long time. In fact, I've only completed two journals between 2012 and 2017. I figured it was worth it for future Syafiq to be able to look back and be like "woahhhh, I forgot this happened". That, and maybe I could publish my journals and make BIG BUCKS MUAHAHAHHA *ok no sorry

And then....everything just stopped. Life changed. Or did I change? Huh, look at that. I wrote four paragraphs already. By now, I'd read everything again and backspace it all into non-existence. But I feel like, right here, at the edge of 2021, I'll light a lantern and send it off.

Just to see what happens y'know. I'll talk more about this in my next entry. If you're reading this far, then man...you are amazing. I really appreciate it, cuz I understand why they say pay attention y'know. It ain't cheap. So again, thank you.

Righto, let's begin. Welcome, dear reader, to Decemberland!

December. Throughout my entire life, the month of December felt like it held an extremely special place in my heart. And I couldn't quite pinpoint exactly why. Last month of the year? Hype for next years' games and movies? A step closer to flying cars? ("what's that Elon?......whaddya mean 'already built'??")

We tend to go into December thinking bout January. What a babe, that January. Cuz man, the next year seems real promising I tell ya. A blank canvas just screams success, a plethora of new experiences. 5...4...3...2...1....

H A P P Y N E W Y E A-

BAM! Loss, betrayal, everything you said you were gonna do didn't happen. This year sucked, but that's okay cuz we got next year. Such is the vicious cycle many of us fall prey to. "Damn Syafiq, might as well call this post *sparkle* Depressionland *sparkle*". Okay, I think it's time for me to confess.

*Ahem*

What you're reading now isn't the real post. Alright, plot twisttttt. Wow this is like Doofenshmirtz and his flashbacks. "Decemberland" is actually very very different. It all started on the eve of December, November 30th. I was lying in bed productively sleeping as all 21 year olds do. And it was that time of year again where I felt like doing something different in my life. So I stayed up after Subuh, came up with a blogpost idea to revive the site, and started working on the poster all morning.

I was proud. It had been months since I had embarked on a project like this. I started writing and writing but....none of it had the same flare. The same zeal. The same oomph as my previous entries. I wrote and erased, again and again. As I was writing, ghosts of insults-past swirled around my room.

"I think its mediocre"

"I don't get it"

"It's too long"

Granted, these were valid pieces of criticism. But instead of a bulletproof vest, I felt like I donned a sheet of A4 paper.

Days go by. I visit the blog occasionally, but to no avail. Weeks. And so Decemberland was folded and tucked into the place where all my unfinished projects went. Life went on, assignments, friends, occasional outings-

"Woah woah woah, you went out during Covid???"

.....okay "mental" outings *crosses fingers*. But the thought lingered in the back of my mind. I had to tell my story. I had to show the world what December meant to me. So with a jolt of energy, I slammed my fingers onto the keyboard and did it. Decemberland was born!.....as a Twitter thread. This one.

It was over. I had encompassed everything I wanted to say in that thread. The splendor and wonder of Christmas, getting lost in starry-eyed ideas and possibility, the dichotomy of something ending and something else beginning. It was perfect.

And yet...I wasn't happy

Why? It didn't make sense. I did it. I mean...I didn't get to use the poster but I did it right? The thought lingered in my head. During my online classes, in the middle of gaming sessions with a bunch of friends, even amidst all the laughter, Decemberland never left my mind. Was I crazy?....okay don't answer that

Fast forward till today. This very moment. 11:16PM on New Years Eve. It took me a whole year to finally, truly, write from the inner depths of my heart. Dear reader, I am hereby making a solemn vow, that I will write by the beauty of the pen, and the wonders of the mind. The follies of the heart, and the world that is sublime. ape bende hang cakap ni

You see...every single draft that never got published in my blog was because I felt like I was writing wrong. No one would read this. No one would care. And if they did read it, they wouldn't like it.

I felt alone.

And the world didn't want that. Just look at everyone outside, having a blast with their lives. Why can't I just be normal and not think so much. But now, in this window of time, do I realise that though the writer says goodbye, the pen must never die. I invalidated my own struggles simply because I felt like I shouldn't be this weak. I shouldn't care about writing so much. I shouldn't let something so trivial like this make me down in the dumps.

But you know what? I believe every struggle should be recognised. Every tear is valuable. And every story is worth hearing. Those things were uttered to me before, but it was as though I was an upside-down cup amidst a curtain of rain. I can never go back to the days I was a kid. That sucks. But I gotta keep moving forward. It took New Years for me to finally publish a piece of my heart. Something that I had written for me, without thinking about every single reader who's gonna read this.

Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things
in the world are things we can't see -Polar Express (2004)

And that's the end dear reader. If you read this far, then I hope at least a smidget of what I had written benefitted you or at least entertained you hahaha *awkward silence*

No but for rea-eh...lupa besarkan. No but for real though, thank you for reading this far. Future blog posts won't be this confusing, like it's one thing, but then it's actually another. If I keep this up Christopher Nolan might call me.

Man I feel like I invited a guest into my messy home (╥﹏╥ ). This was such an unorthodox post. I usually start with the poster, but I went for a picture instead. But I'm glad I got something out. Phew,11:50pm, just in the nick of time.

Anyhoo, who knows what the next year will hold. But whatever it is, I'm looking forward to it. I got WAAAAY more stories and tales to share with you guys about all sorts of things. Also, I am planning on re-writing my novel that I lost back in 2013 hahah

"....what"

That's a story for another day xD. Until next time, peace! Oh and here's the link to the real Decemberland post in case you missed it.

The Last of Us Part II: STORY REVIEW

01:47

Something you'll realise in life, is that everything is about striking a balance. You can never live too perfectly, and at the same time, no one's too crooked to turn a new leaf. Every day is a choice, and sometimes you do the right thing, sometimes you don't. When a video game recognises that, and incorporates it into their narrative, that's when truly rich storytelling happens. And what better way to showcase moral ambiguity in a zombie-infested, post-apocalyptic world.

Enter, The Last of Us

Naturally, yet ominously beautiful

Before I begin, I'd like to make it clear that this is a STORY-only review, and there will be spoilers going forward for this game and other media as well. What do I think of the gameplay, visuals, and sound design? They get a 10/10 from me, truly the peak of game developers as expected from Naughty Dog Studios. I'll go into detail regarding that some other time. But for now, let's take a look at the next chapter of Ellie and Joel's endearing tale of survival.

"I would do it all over again" - Joel

The story begins 5 years after the events of the first game, and we begin with a small recap. Joel had painstakingly fought through a hospital and armed Firefly personnel to save Ellie, who was going to die from being used to develop a potential cure for the infected. He lied to Ellie, telling her that they couldn't make a cure, but this lie doesn't last very long and Ellie soon learns the truth. Needless to say, she was not pleased.

Present day, Joel and Ellie are now living in a large, but humble settlement in Jackson, Wyoming. Thanks to Tommy, Joel's brother, the two are having it pretty well. Ellie makes friends with a girl named Dina, who eventually becomes her love interest, and Jesse, an Asian-American dude who'd definitely survive a few seasons of the Walking Dead.

Unfortunately, Ellie and Joel appear to be drifting apart, as the two are more busier with their new lives in this community and Ellie still does not forgive Joel for not letting her sacrifice her life to make a potential cure. However, one of the first scenes we see in the game is a young Ellie being visited by Joel, who plays her a melancholic song about how awful it'd be to lose her. And like every teen, Ellie doesn't really seemed impressed, and gives it a:

Granted, she did smile hahaha

Even though it may be sad to watch Joel trying to become a good father figure to Ellie, that's how it is in real life. Being a 14 year old teenager, you tend to respond with the typical "whatever" to everything at that time. And dads tend to be awkward in showing their affection to their children. The scene works well because we see Joel and Ellie's appreciation for each other without them actually saying it. Solid display of "show, don't tell".

Okay back to the present. Joel and Tommy set off to investigate a group of nearby infected. After being gone for awhile, Ellie and Dina goes to search for them. Something I'd like to highlight here is the little dialogue and comments they make when riding on horseback through dilapidated buildings and snow-covered forests. I love when video games do this, because it does not shut the player off from playing the game by shoving them into a cutscene. Having the characters talk here and there, and observe the environment around them really gives more colour to their personality and makes everything feel very much alive.

Now let's talk about death.

From good to worst

So if you thought the game was good so far, boy am I sorry for you. Because what you're about to witness is truly hard to watch (or in your case, read I guess lol). Okay, so out of nowhere, you suddenly play as this girl named Abby who,...my god.... is absolutely STACKED.

No wonder they call her 'Abs'

Now I get that it is implied that she may be a transgender, hence the incredible physique, but you gotta understand. In the world of The Last of Us (TLOU), food is super duper scarce, and everyone and I mean everyone is either skinny, or moderately fit. You might think she looks fine from the picture on the left, and I agree!

But that my friend, is from an earlier trailer. The current Abby is the muchacho you see on the right. The problem is, they kept buffing her and buffing her, so much so, that many players (yes, LGBTQ+ gamers as well) found her too jarring to look at in a post-apocalyptic world like TLOU. I get that they're trying to show that women can be jacked as well, and there's no problem with that. Many games have done that right.

I'm all for more diverse representation in video games, but it has to be done in a way that doesn't defy the rules of the world in the game. For instance, in The Last of Us: Left Behind DLC, we pretty much got the message on how Ellie is attracted to girls rather than guys. It's a well-crafted story, and by the end of it, we develop a stronger emotional connection with Ellie after learning more about her. But here, they simply drop this hunka muscle outta nowhere, and...that's it.

But that's just purely a graphical debate, and frankly I don't think it really matters much.

So anyway you play as her, and eventually you get chased by a whole horde of the infected. You manage to kill some of them by (I kid you not), punching them in the face. We've got humans in this game who meticulously gear themselves up with all sorts of weapons, traps, and armour, but Abby is able to simply knock the undead daylights out of them with her bare fists.

Damn.

However, the horde becomes too large for even Armour Abs Krabs to handle, and you're forced to keep running. Luckily enough, you run into Joel and Tommy who help you fend them off. The gang makes their way through the harsh blizzard and manages to take shelter in a mansion, led by Abby. There, Joel and Tommy meets the rest of Abby's friends, who reveal themselves as a small group within the Washington Liberation Front (WLF). Joel and Tommy straight-up INTRODUCE themselves and even tells these strangers of their location back in Wyoming. The room goes silent. Joel looks around.

"Y'all act like you've heard us or something" says Joel.

Abby grabs a shotgun. "Cause they have".

*BAM* shoots Joel in the knee!

Okay okay, backup. This is Joel from the last game:

Even though a guy begs for help, he knows better than to trust a stranger. He's cautious, even scolding Ellie for revealing her name to other people in the game.

This is Joel in the Last of Us Part II:

Now I get that the old Joel was more on edge, and would probably point a gun at them first before dusting off the snow on his coat. I get that this Joel is more seasoned, having experienced years of peace. But it just doesn't make sense to his character that he'd give away vital information like that, especially considering he is known as the guy who prevented humanity from creating a potential cure. If not on edge, he would at least ask them who they were and where they're from first. You see, there's character development, and there's character-breaking.

Take Kratos from the God of War for example. A merciless, vengeance-seeking warrior who'd kill anyone in his way, even innocents! And now he's a dad. How do you translate his previous traits into his new life? Well, he's not exactly a pacifist, and still kills gruesomely. But his rage manifests itself in a way that makes sense now, we see growth as he stops his son from killing violently, but will still chop a head when needed.

When you look at Joel, years of post-apocalyptic life would make him different that's for sure, but not so much as to make him complacent. So okay, let's give that scene the benefit of the doubt. What comes next, is much much worse.

Trouble ensues as Abby reveals herself to be the daughter of one of the surgeons Joel killed while saving Ellie in the first game. This reveal occurs later in the game mind you, but I'll tell you early to simplify the review. After learning Joel's identity, she shoots Joel in the knee, while her friends grab hold of Tommy. She then proceeds to beating Joel in the head, with a golf-club over and over again. This of course, sparked the infamous meme, a Joel-in-One.

After that painful scene, you take control of Ellie again, who manages to find Joel. She is ultimately defeated, and is also beaten up by Abby's friends, only to watch Abby deliver the final blow into Joel's bloodied head.

A sight to remember

And I'm not kidding, it is brutal. He didn't just get beaten to death. He got mutilated. I mean they even spat on his corpse for crying out loud! The squishy sounds of his brain colliding with the club, ugh! What a horrible way to treat your main character, someone who millions of players around the world share an emotional connection with. R.I.P. Joel ;-;

So yes, Joel dies. Really early in the game. And that's fine! Killing the protagonist is something a lot of games and series have done before. And yes, it can be gory as hell. BUT gore has to be earned, and in this case, I don't think it was. Joel's death was to be expected, but it did not fulfill his character arc at all. In fact, it did the opposite.

He didn't need to go out like Lee from the Telltale's Walking Dead or heck, Tony Stark from Endgame. He could've died abruptly, but not in a way that is an injustice to his character, to all the growth he's had with Ellie, his surrogate daughter. And the fact that they made you play as the person who kills him, right before the vicious beating, is just pure anger fuel.

Abby and her friends run off, and Dina saves Ellie from the brink of death. Ellie is of course devastated that her father was slaughtered in front of her mercilessly, and swears revenge on Abby. Hence, the main premise of The Last of Us Part II starts; the endless cycle of violence and revenge. Now that's something awesome to portray in a video game, but the way they handled it didn't work well. I'll explain more as we go on.

Seattle, 2039

Throughout the game, you are constantly switching between playing as Ellie and Abby, both with their own agendas. Ellie, Dina and Jesse-...oh remember Jesse? That Asian-American guy I talked about? Okay jap, here's a picture:

"Hi, I'm Asian Joel" - Asian Joel

Yeah, so Ellie and her friends are on the hunt for the WLF, the group Abby was part of, in their home base located in Seattle. Tommy went out to pursue them in the Spring, so they're basically following his tracks in hopes of finding Abby, fighting WLF soldiers and infected along the way. I gotta say, with this level of graphics and voice acting, killing the WLF soldiers really feels disturbingly personal.

I mean I call them soldiers, but they're dressed like normal people, have conversations, AND even react if one of their friends gets killed by you, the player. They scream and wince in pain, call out their friends name in a dying breath, and you see their muscles contract after getting stabbed by Ellie! It's next-gen immersion indeed. Just something I really like about the game hahaha, but I digress.

Also, now's probably a good time for me to tell you that Ellie's girlfriend, Dina was actually pregnant this whole time!

Long-story short, Jesse was Dina's ex-boyfriend. The End. So because of this, Dina takes a back seat for awhile, and Ellie and Jesse head out to track Abby.

Ellie comes into contact with Owen and Mel (oh god, more names?), who are *jeng jeng jengggg* Abby's friends who were there when Joel got killed. She questions them and tells them that she'll spare their lives if they tell her Abby's whereabouts, but they attack her instead, forcing you to kill them.

Ellie vs. Mel

By now, you start to get what the game is trying to tell you. That, killing will just lead to more killing. The person you killed is someone loved by a friend, lover, or family member. But let's see how that plays out.

Ellie gathers herself and rendezvouses with Dina, Jesse, and Tommy. All of a sudden, they are ambushed by Abby who instantly kills Jesse by shooting him through the face! And shoots Tommy in the face as well!! Oh here's the best part: YOU PLAY AS ABBY.

You play as Abby, this random girl who killed Joel ruthlessly, killed your friends, killed innocent people, and who fueled your journey for revenge in the first place. And the game forces you to beat the living crap out of Ellie....what?

"Yay! I get to beat up the character I love!!"

Remember when I said the game switches between Ellie and Abby? In the first half of the game, you play as Ellie, but halfway through, you switch to Abby's story. All the Abby parts I mentioned were awfully shoehorned in. Because the game puts her in these "nice" situations where she does "nice" things and forces you to like her.

"But Syafiq? Doesn't Ellie murder her friends and other humans as well?"

The thing is, we played a whole first game with her. We're willing to forgive Ellie's actions even though some of them might be wrong. When the game tries to do the same with Abby, it just doesn't work. It take a lot of time for someone to be emotionally invested in a character, especially very human ones such as Ellie or Abby. So no matter how many nice scenarios you put Abby in, players will still be focused on the terrible things she had done (i.e. the Joel-in-One).

It's like you're Tony Stark who had just discovered that Bucky killed your parents. You don't care if he saved other people, or is the friend of your comrade. You're hellbent on getting your revenge.

I mean Abby slammed Dina's face onto the floor, all while Dina had an arrow through her shoulder. As she was about to slit her throat, Ellie says "No wait! Please don't this, she's pregnant" to which Abby replies with "Good" and an evil smile. And all this while, you're patiently waiting until you can get your hands on the person who slaughtered your father, but you are completely denied that because the game forces you to play as her when you don't want to.

That, is not fun.

Ellie went through this all so you, as the player, can beat her up

Let me put this in perspective. Imagine if after the Avengers beat Ultron in Sokovia, one of the casualties or civilians had a kid. Years later the kid just walks up into Avengers HQ and shoots Tony Stark with a pistol. Then you play as Tony's daughter on the hunt for this kid. But when you finally meet the kid, you play as the kid and are forced to beat up Tony's daughter.

It just doesn't work. They try to make you feel guilty for killing people regardless of who you play, but they execute it quite poorly. For them to do that, they would have to have a logical, well-thought out buildup and payoff. Instead, the rely on awkwardly scripted cutscenes that don't make sense to the characters or story.

As Ellie, you are FORCED to kill dogs, and murder people while they scream with gargling blood in their mouths. As Abby, you play fetch with dogs, save an injured zebra, and save kids who are captured by an evil cult.

Ellie and Tommy grieve Joel''s death

This just doesn't work because the player hates Abby for killing Joel already. That hate, isn't going to go away just because of one "friendly" cutscene. Plus, Ellie kills when she is forced to, while we see Abby take pleasure from shooting an old man in the knee who had just saved her, and beating him senseless with a golf club.You can't guilt trip the player like that without providing a solid flow of narrative events.

Sorry for the ramble there *phew*. Okay, so let's see how the story ends.

Remember I talked about Abby rescuing kids? Yeah so that kid convinces her not to kill Dina and Ellie, so they end up walking away. Months pass, and Ellie, Dina, and her newborn child are living on a farm. Their joy is cut short, when Tommy, who managed to survive getting shot by Abby, arrives and tells them that he discovered Abby's location. Ellie is unable to leave her past behind, and to Dina's sadness, leaves to confront Abby once and for all.

A short-lived fantasy

So Abby ended up getting caught by these bandits on Catalina Island and held as prisoner. After reaching the island, and finding Abby tied to a post, Ellie cuts her free and tells her that she can't kill Abby unless they fight in an honorable 1-on-1 battle.

At first Abby declines, because she just wants to sail off with that kid she had rescued months back who also got caught with her. But as Ellie continues to taunt her, the two duke it out in a climatic final battle. And yes, you are finally playing as Ellie.

Punch after punch, cut after cut, it was a raw, vicious battle. Even after being starved and losing significant weight, Abby is no easy picking. She struggles hard, and even bites off two of Ellie's fingers!

Finally, Ellie manages to overpower Abby and plunges her head into the watery shores, trying to drowning her. But at the very last moment, she gets a flashback of Joel, and decides to stop. Then...she lets Abby go, never to be seen again.

"If I ever were to lose you, I surely lose myself" - Joel

When Ellie returns home, she finds that everything is gone. Dina had left with her baby. She goes upstairs to find Joel's guitar, and tries to play the song he had sang for her years ago. But can't due to not having enough fingers to play the chords. Ellie leaves the guitar behind, and sets off on an unknown journey.

Annnnd that's it folks! So let me sum The Last of Us Part II for you.

As Ellie:

Revenge is bad
You lose your dad
You lose your girlfriend and child
You lose the ability to play the guitar, the very last memento left by Joel

As Abby:

You avenge your dad
You keep your fingers
You keep your friend
You get to sail away and rejoin your military group who are now more than 200 strong
Revenge was the right answer

It's a story that discards all the emotional investment and character development of the first game, all so they can shove a message about how revenge is terrible and you should just let go like Ellie does. But if Ellie really wanted to let it go, she would've been satisfied when Tommy told her that Abby is now a prisoner and being tortured by a group of bandits. She wouldn't have sacrificed her beautiful new life with Dina.

no giraffes in this game, hombre

Ellie is written off as a blood-lust girl who kills everyone in her way EXCEPT for the person who caused her to be angry in the first place? I get what they're trying to say. And it's true that the path to revenge often leads to ruthless, unnecessary actions that will end up with you hurting yourself by the end of it all. But instead of letting the story flow and continue, the game sort of beats you over the head with this message.

The last game was about two strangers who grow into a family, sharing a strong bond built on survival, tragedy, and deception.

We didn't get to see Joel's struggle with his moral conscience and decision to save Ellie.

We didn't get to see how Ellie tries to forgive Joel and find the truth to her immunity.

We didn't get to learn more about the cordyceps virus and its origins.

All we get is a forced message on letting go of revenge, while the main character suffers horribly from letting go in the end, while the "villain" benefits from her revenge and will come back even stronger.

I mean, if you wanna talk about ending a cycle, take a look at Katniss Everdeen. After a killing countless of people, losing her loved ones, and sanity. She finally gets a chance to kill the man responsible for all the tragedy in her life. But when she realises that the person she fought for was going to start the same, cruel, cycle, she decides to kill her BEFORE another cycle can even begin.

She disregarded the satisfaction she desperately desired for years, to do what is right. And it ended up being even more satisfying than what she wanted.

Coin dies. Snow dies.

Was it a victory for our hero? Not necessarily, as she lost an innumerable amount of life and love through the long struggle. But she did the right thing, despite the possible risks. And it paid off pretty well.

An empty feeling

TO SUM IT UP, in the Last of Us Part II, no one is truly bad or good. Someone you love, may be a terrible murderer to another person. The game had an astounding premise, and I do respect these kind of narratives that challenge traditional storytelling ways. However, I feel as if the game should've been structured in a different way, a slower, powerful flow.

The game tried to deliver a powerful message on moral ambiguity, but failed at the cost of the characters performing illogical actions, becoming one-dimensional, and failing to continue the story of the previous game in any way.

To give them the benefit of the doubt, Abby's story isn't completely ridiculous, but felt shoehorned into the game. It would've been better if they saved her story for the next game, or a DLC. Instead, we get a kind of Batman v Superman effect where the storytelling felt all over the place, and there were too many ideas being introduced at the same time.

Needless to say, the game in and of itself is still amazing as a video game. By the end of it all, I definitely shed a few tears. But more so for Ellie, and the world she has to grow up in. It's really heartbreaking to see her losing everything she had ever loved.

But being a game that heavily ties story and gameplay together, The Last of Us Part II fails to deliver a compelling, satisfying, story with a payoff that makes sense.

So that was my review of the story, what are your thoughts? Don't worry, it's okay to like something other people hate. Everyone should be in an environment where they can express their opinions safely without hate or derogatory comments. So if you do like the story, please share your thoughts! <3

I will leave you guys, with my favourite scene from the game. Until next time, peace!

Tales From The Land of Tigers

Decemberland

The Last of Us Part II: STORY REVIEW

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